Night Life of a Seventy-Something

 A local singer friend kept me awake one night this week. We went to the wine bar here on St. Paddy's day to hear her sing a lot of Irish tunes, including one about two unicorns that missed the boat: that is, Noah's ark. When I got up to pee that night, I was thrilled I'd slept until 4am. Only 2 more hours in bed I thought. 

I had trouble getting back to sleep because I kept hearing "cats and rats and elephants" over and over again in my head. (Words from the song) Eventually it became "bats and rats and elepha'ts". And then "blah blah chimpanzees"... I couldn't recall what the blah blahs that went with the chimpanzees were. Eventually I decided it should be "bees and flees and chimpanzees" to make it consistent. And then that kept repeating in my head. Then, I thought "trees" rhymes with chimpanzees, but realized it was only creatures, not plants that went into the ark. Then I thought well if plants didn't go into the ark how come they survived the flood. Even though seeds float, most will not survive for long in salt water and certainly not for the year Noah was in his Ark.

Then, I also realized it was only Noah's family that got on board. So how come all the races survived, because Noah was only Semitic. Then I thought how dumb for people to have believed the story in the first place, even thousands of years ago, and even if they were illiterate. Then I thought: but my born again brother out west believes it and he's literate. 

And so on it went until I finally rolled over and said to my partner, who was snoring, it must be time to get up. He grunted and said it's only 2:25. So I must have got up to pee at 12:20, not 4:00! ... having got the clock hands mixed up. So it was a very active night. 

I got up at 5:30 to verify that there were indeed trees outside. So everything was okay.

A Beastly Walk on a March Day

On my mostly daily walk a few days ago, I spotted what looked like a small beaver scurrying along the road about a kilometre from our home. It came up from the river side of the road and crossed onto the sidewalk ahead of me. Then, it scurried into the grass parallel to the side walk and kept going at a very good pace. 

I was watching it as I was gradually catching up to it. It was, most certainly, a muskrat. By the time I was about eighty metres on, it was scampering along the sidewalk. I wanted past, so I went onto the grass to overtake it as quickly as I could. It charged at me, coming right up to my feet. I jumped back in nervous and embarrassed fright. 

Every time I tried to pass it, the beast charged again. I jumped again. Finally, I let it get ahead of me. However, after a couple of further unsuccessful attempts to pass the aggressive little monster, I decided to take a wide sweep and get on my way. I went out tino the middle of the road. It was still scampering along the sidewalk parallel to me. But I managed  to get ahead of it. 

When I was about thirty metres ahead, I turned around and saw it running along in the middle of the roadway.  A car had stopped. A woman got out. She walked towards it. It charged at her, just as it had at me. She likewise jumped back. It charged again coming right up to her feet. This time however, she bent down towards it. She picked it up, carried it across the road to the water side and tossed it over the edge toward the river.

Thank god for brave women, I thought! Brave and perhaps foolish in retrospect. The creature's behaviour was most unnatural. It might have had rabies.

Early Release of "Murder, Buy Cheeses"

Austin Macauley Publishers (London, New York) were eager to publish "Murder, Buy Cheeses".  They are a hybrid publisher and their share would have involved printing, advertising and distrubution of the book. This would have been wonderful. However, I could not come up with the 1/3 publishing fee of over $4,000 Cdn. 

Nevertheless, they wrote that the book is “…a most suspenseful and immersive mystery story, very well written, with an intriguing emphasis on a cheese store that hides many secrets… [It is] lighthearted and whimsical while still maintaining the sensibilities of a murder mystery.”

So, once again, Amazon Books is producing the book, and it will be posted in e-book and paperback format on November 6, 2023. A book launch is tentatively scheduled for December 6 in Annapolis Royal. This is dependent on the author's copies of the book arriving in time to do the publicity.

Murder, Buy Cheeses

When a new independent cheese store wants to open in a small Nova Scotia town in the Annapolis Valley, the area bristles with intrigue. Murder and mayhem ensue. 

But, the Good, the Bad and the in-between are mostly likeable, or at least understandable, if not downright loveble. 

A cheese shop, a church and government bureaucracy make for strange bedfellows.

The book is now in the hands of test readers and the feedback is excellent. Next stop, the publisher.

Hopefully the book will be out early in 2024.

Now Published - A Whimsical Murder Mystery

 Yes, "Murder on the Pony Express Way" is now available as both an e-book and a paperback. Visit Amazon Books on the net.

If you are fortunate enough to live in the Annapolis Valley of Nova Scotia, the book is also available at the Mad Hatter Bookstore in Annapolis Royal, the Endless Shores Bookstore in Bridgetown, and the Bees Knees General Store in Lawrencetown.

Murder in Grandvue-au-Rive

There is murder on the horizon in a sleepy village in the Annapolis Valley, Nova Scotia. 

And it's hopefully coming to a bookstore near you in the near future: "Murder on the Pony Express Way". 

Stay Tuned.

Travel Ain't Fun No More No More

The Canadian government removed the "72 hours before" PCR test requirement  just before our return flight from Cuba. But it replaced it with a "one day before" rapid test. Now we did discover we could get this at the medical clinic in our town rather than have to travel into Havana and get it at the International Hospital there. 

We were told this could be paid for by credit card. We actually went the week before to make sure of this and get an appointment. Now, if "day" meant day, then there was no issue,  but if day meant "24 hours", we were in trouble. My lawyer's mind kicked in. If they said 72 hours in one instance rather than 3 days and said day in the other, rather than 24 hours, then the 2 distinct designations had to be different. 

Our scheduled flight was 3pm on a Tuesday. The medical clinic closed at 3:30 Monday and did not reopen until 8:30am Tuesday morning.  But we had to be on the road from our town to the airport two hours away no later than 10am Tuesday in order to make the 3 hour before flight requirement. And as nothing happens on schedule in Cuba, we would have been SOL. 

The doctor wasn't 100 percent convinced of my legal argument uttered in faltering Spanish, but she understood our dilemma. She marked on the form 3:10pm for our Monday test, which we had actually had at 9am. 

But, before we got to that hurdle, we had to pay in advance by credit card as we had been advised. However, to do that we had to use our cell phone to access a QR code. But our phones use WIFI. We have no mobile data. There was no WIFI at the clinic. Fortunately, the doctor, seeing my despair, offered me her own phone to access the payment method. 

We were picked up by our taxi the next day on time, but 20 minutes from the airport we got a flat tyre! Luckily, there was a gas station around the corner and we actually squeaked in just ahead of the 3 hour deadline. I checked my bag, as I always do, because I have a metal collapsible music stand in it. We were all checked in and ready to settle in for our two hour wait, but we discovered that there no beer in the airport to have with our sandwich!!!  

Eventually boarding was announced and we are about to enter the bridge to the plane when I heard in a strong Cuban accent "Paul Stuart Rapsey report to customs". Panic. Off I go after telling my partner to go on without me if need be. Down to customs I rushed. 

In Cuban style, no one greets you or acknowledges you or tells you why you are there, But I notice my checked bag sitting there on the floor outside a mysterious doorway. The plane is boarding. Time passes. Eventually, they call me in and ask me to open my suitcase . They make a mess of it and discover the music stand. They ask what it is. I show them the fiddle case I am carrying with me. They smile, shake their head, make some notations on a form and tell me to go. I hastily re-stuff my formerly neatly packed bag and run. They thought it might be a bomb!

Travel ain't fun no more.